Self Respect

I think I hear something. Is it muffled voices? Also, there's a familiar metallic taste in my mouth. Is it blood? Disoriented, I try to focus on the frantic voices around me and then I realize they are familiar too. But, the screaming is making my head throb and my stomach nauseous. I want to tell them to stop yelling but my head and face feel like I've just run head first into a brick wall. And then it all started coming back to me.

I swung a baseball bat at Paul.

There I said it. I had my reasons though. Paul has been taking what seems to me every opportunity to dis me in front of my friends and in front of my girl. Paul is a member of the nearby Quileute tribe and he's about the same age as I am. Of course he's a trouble maker and I don't like trouble makers. I would like nothing better than to wipe the smirk off his face. Unfortunately for me, the guy, like several of his friends, is built like a mountain and any scrap would probably mean I'd be toast. But I kept thinking.

I've dealt with guys almost that big on the basketball court. They're always slower than I am and in a box out I have a lower center of gravity. Plus, with the right weapon I have enough strength to rip his flesh or break his bones. If I can just keep enough space between him and me and if I have the right weapon…

Of course the poignancy of that thought is lost on me as I regain my senses in the ER. Around me there are nurses buzzing around that keep telling me everything is going to be okay. My head feels like a busted, over-ripe melon and I'm sure it sounded like that when Paul's fist made impact. But my head feels almost soothing next to my busted nose. Of course thinking back on the fight, what little I can remember, I have no clue how things turned so bad for me. I did, after all, hit him square in the back of the head with a genuine Louisville slugger. He should be laying here, not me.

Unfortunately I'm the one laying in an uncomfortable emergency room bed. I'm the one who'll have hell to pay when Chief Swan finds out that I started the fight. I'm the one who'll have to deal with the consequences. But at least I still have my self-respect…

I'm such an idiot. I'm sure I'll be able to wrap myself in my self-respect to keep warm while I'm serving time in the State pen for assault with a deadly weapon.